Love Is Not Self-Seeking

Given the fact I’m getting married in July, it’s needless to say that I’ve been thinking an awful lot about love lately. I’ve been working on being a more loving person in every aspect of my life so that I can grow closer to God and to benefit my future marriage to Jamie.

And despite all my efforts, day after day, I realize that I royally suck at loving. But it’s something I continue to research and practice.

So, of course, to get better at love, I turn to the Bible. More specifically I turn to 1 Corinthians, because not only does Paul talk specifically about marriage in the in chapter 7, but he also describes Love in chapter 13. I could write pages after pages on 1 Corinthians 13 but in this blog I want to focus on one specific part of the description of love and that’s verse 5:

“It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

More specifically I want to focus on the part that says that love is not self-seeking, because too often when we look at relationships we look at how they benefit us.

We tend to talk to someone wanting to push our little agendas or wanting to tell them something that makes us look better, and while the other person is talking we are simply waiting for our turn to speak. We rarely enter a conversation to fully benefit the other person.

We are selfish pieces of crap.

But as followers of Christ we are called to be different. We are called to be more like Christ, which is especially hard because Christ did nothing for his own gain, because he already had everything. He did everything out of love.

Even God’s law doesn’t benefit God at all. Every commandment and little rule that God tells us to do is for our sake, not His. Us not sinning doesn’t give him anything, but it prevents us from hurting ourselves because every sin has its consequences in our lives here on earth.

God tells what to do and what not to do to protect us from our own self-destructive behavior.

So, as we enter this Christmas season I just pray that we can keep things in perspective and try to better love our family members and friends. Especially considering this time of year can be a very stressful time of year. I would also like to encourage you to pay attention to your reasoning for entering a conversation with someone and don’t simply wait for your turn to speak. Try and make that conversation be a blessing on the other person and not just yourself.

As a fellow selfish piece of crap I know this will be difficult, but learning to love people better will be a far greater blessing on your life and the lives of everyone around you than you could ever imagine.

Plans

This whole summer I was making plans for Jamie’s birthday. I was worried I wouldn’t come up with any good ideas so I paid close attention whenever we went shopping at the mall to what she seemed to want. I don’t remember exactly when, but at some point I had a bunch of really great ideas. I was totally psyched to get her the things I came up with. I even told myself “no Isaiah, don’t get those things for her now, wait for later in the year so you can make sure she doesn’t buy any of them for herself and then you don’t have to return anything.”

So, later in the year rolls around and I mysteriously find myself completely broke, then I find out that my car needs to be fixed, and to top it all off I apparently forgot to pay someone money I owed them from mid-summer. I then realized I couldn’t afford even the smallest thing I had planned to get her. Needless to say I was/am really bummed about this. Fortunately I have some new ideas, but they aren’t nearly as epic.

This got me thinking about how nothing ever seems to go as planned, which then reminded me of Proverbs 16:9.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

When my plans fail and I get upset it’s simply because I fail to recognize the fact that our almighty God, who knows far more than I do, has better plans than me.

I know I’ve touched on this issue before, but at this time in my life, planning is a very relevant subject and it never hurts to be reminded that God has a better plan than we could ever imagine.

Forgiveness

I recently got a request asking me to write a blog about forgiveness, and when I told Jamie what I was doing she responded with “ohhh boyyy that’ll be a good one for you” because I’m not always the most forgiving person in the world.. in fact it’s something I’ve really been working on lately.

I figured I should start off by mentioning what Jesus has to say on the issue, because, after all, He’s a pretty smart dude.

Matthew 18:21-35 is Jesus teaching about forgiveness. He tells a parable of a king who wants to settle his accounts with his servants. The king brings in one of his servants who owes him ten thousand talents and the servant is unable to pay him back but before the king throws him into jail, the servant begs for patience from the king and the king one ups him and forgives him of his debt. That very same slave then went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, the fellow slave asked for patience but instead the servant, who was just forgiven, throws his fellow servant into jail for owing him far less than the amount he owed the king.

The king found out what happened and said “You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way I had mercy on you?”

Then the king moved with anger and handed him over to be tortured until he should repay all that he owes.

Jesus then goes on to say, “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from his heart.”

(I really recommend you read it for yourself in the Bible because God’s wording is much better than my own)

I just want to point out that this isn’t necessarily saying that if you died right now, before you had a chance to forgive someone, then you’d go to hell, because we know from scripture throughout the Bible that we can’t lose our salvation. But in a way we are still condemned when we don’t forgive.

Throughout the Bible the primary description of Hell is separation from God, and it just so happens that when you can’t find it in yourself to forgive someone, you also can’t fully love God, and the longer you dwell on the wrongs that person committed towards you the farther you slip from God. Because to love God is to obey his commandments (1 John 5:3) and in Mark 12:31 we see the second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Holding a grudge consumes you.

But the main thing Jesus was pointing out in that passage is, that it is awfully pathetic when we can’t forgive others for wrongs they’ve committed towards us, when Jesus forgives us for sinning against Him about a million times per day.

We are too selfish to give out just a little bit of grace to someone who has wronged us, when we’ve already received the ultimate amount of grace.

I can remember my first time reading that passage in Sunday school when I was little and the Sunday school teacher asked us what we thought of the evil servant and I immediately said he was a complete jerk and deserved what he got. Then she told me that he represented us and I remember just feeling a sense of “oh crap, she’s right”

We are that evil servant all too often.

This forgiveness business doesn’t come naturally to us, but fortunately we have the ultimate example in Jesus, whose grace is unlimited (1 Timothy 1:16).

So next time you are having trouble forgiving someone just remember how much you’ve been forgiven from and then free yourself from the chains of holding a grudge for your own sake and because you were forgiven first, even though you really didn’t deserve it.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you

I Miss my Bible

I recently left home for school and I won’t be able to go back for two weeks. This is a major bummer, not only because I miss my fiancée very much, but because I left my Bible in an unknown location in my home town. It could be in numerous places, and I’ve been known to lose Bibles in the past. Which I suppose aren’t the worst things to lose because, assuming that someone finds it, that person is getting a Bible full of underlining and notes taken by yours truly. However, not having my own Bible makes writing blogs and preparing for Bible Studies a lot tougher. It also makes sitting in my room with nothing to do a lot more boring.

This predicament I am in right now got me thinking about the importance of reading your Bible, because without it I do feel sort of less connected with God. His word is a way he speaks to us and tells us what we need to hear, that’s why we call it the Living Word of God. You can read the entire Bible 500 times (which would be crazy) and you’d still get something new out of it the next day when you open it up for your daily devotional.

I can remember the first time I realized I needed to read my Bible. I was very young and I thought I knew everything (I’m very bad with matching stories to the exact time in life when it occurred, but given the circumstances I was probably in Jr. High). I got into a debate with a much smarter girl in my class on whether or not Jesus is the Way. I was completely owning her in the debate all the way up until the very end when she said “Have you even read the whole Bible?!” I lost the debate right there and then. How could I truly argue the legitimacy of the Bible when I don’t even know what it says?

So this is what I did, I began doing daily devotionals and marking everything as a read it. Another little handy thing I did was put the Bible on the back of my toilet and read every time I spent time there doing you-know-what. And with those two combined I was able to read the entire Bible within a year and less than a week after I was finished I was in another debate with another girl (I really used to enjoy a good debate, I was raised in a Baptist Church after all..) and she asked me the same thing and I was able to answer confidently that I have read the entire Bible and I do know what it says. Needless to say that was a very exciting moment for me and she did eventually end up coming to know Christ. Amen!

I could go on and on about reasons to read your Bible, but I know people’s blog reading spans are attention rather short and I’m probably already exceeding yours so if you want to hear more about why you should read your Bible please just ask me! Also if you have and questions about where you should start in the Bible don’t hesitate to ask!

Just a Thought by Hannah Shu

Hannah Sent this to a group of people including myself and I thought it was great so I asked her if it was okay if I could post this on here. I also asked her and a number of people if they'd be willing to write more things like this for Fighting The Cynic, so if you have any ideas or things you want to share about let me know via facebook!

I was just thinking... does Facebook make you less of a Christian? Think about it - what do your status' consist of? Song lyrics and whining about how you need this or want that. Or does it make you more of a Christian where you thank God for the day He gave you or the funniest thing He presented in your life that day. Personally, I think about what I put as my status - if it measures up to everyone else's status for the day - which is not how I am at all. Who cares if God's name appears at the top of my page? I should be proud, but in reality I'm more worried about what everyone else thinks; even though they know I'm a "christian." And it's not just Facebook - it's everyday life, simply put. The people I hang out with, go to dinner with, talk to... they're not Christians and I should see to it that I try my hardest to present God to them, but do I? Do you? I don't mean be as blunt as to say, "Hey, become a Christian or else you'll go to Hell." No, I'm just saying be the example, the Christian, you are proclaiming to be.

Otherwise we're no better than the christian extremists and hypocrites who are so far from the truth it's more tragic than anything. I know this probably sounds so old and repetitive, like, "Be the God-warrior God called you to be" and whatnot, but I don't mean it like that. It's just that ever since I moved away from home and into a dorm with four other girls who do not share my faith, and have no other friends (sad, but true) it's been harder than when I was in high school.

So, just know that if it's hard for you, too, that you're definitely not alone and I'm sure it would not bother anyone of us (Christians) to just say, "Hey, how's it going?" and mean it. Because that's what we really need... support that we feel is real. Okay, now I feel like Rob the Ramblin' man... seriously, though, don't hesitate to talk to another one of us if you're having even a rough hour. A simple, "Pray for me" could suffice (trust me, it takes a load off your back). I guess the point of this was to say that it's okay to take that "leap of faith" whether it be on Facebook or just saying, "Hey, how's it going?" to a friend - we all need encouragement and sometimes it's hard to find it. Okay... thanks for reading this, guys. -Hannah Shu

Irrational Anxieties

Who of you by worrying can add a single day to his life? Matthew 6:27

People spend so much of their time worrying they forget all of the blessings God has poured into their lives. Even as I write this I am being distracted by random worries in my life and it’s making writing this blog last for at least an hour, when it would only take me maybe 15 minutes if I’d just focus.

How often do we lay awake in bed worrying about something we can’t control, and then it turns out to be just fine? I had a serious problem with this when I was younger to the point that I would miss entire nights of sleep because I was worried about something that might happen the next day. This kind of worry plagued me for years until one small little gesture from my Mom ended it almost entirely, and still continues to help me to this day. My mother sat me down and walked me through the past few months and all the things I laid awake in bed worrying about and she pointed out how no matter how bad those things seemed at the time everything worked out for the best. (Without any training in the field of Psychology, I swear she’s still a better Psychologist than me)

She then handed me one of the greatest gifts anyone has ever given me. All it was was a little framed sign that said “Dear Isaiah, I have everything under control. Love, Jesus” Every night I would start to worry I would simply look at that sign and know that everything would be just fine.

Truth is my worry was simply a lack of faith in God. I was bold enough to unconsciously tell myself that my problems were too big for God to handle.

I’m here today to let you know that your problems are nothing compared to the God who created this entire Universe, the God who created everyone of us and knows us better than we know ourselves. He intimately loves us individually and knows what’s best for us in the long run.

I’m glad God doesn’t let everything go by our plans, because then we can’t take credit for it. If everything went the way we wanted it to we might be tempted to take pride in it as if we made it happen, so when God changes our plans unexpectedly just let that be a little reminder as to who is in control.

We have also been given this little tool called prayer. Jesus told us in Matthew 7:7-11

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

A friend of mine today pointed out to me that when one of our plans doesn't go the way we expected our first instinct is to think or worry about it. Thinking isn’t necessarily bad but, what our first reaction should be is to lift our problem up to God.

We’ve been giving an amazingly powerful tool and we should use it. God doesn’t want us to pray because it helps Him in anyway.. He’s God.. He doesn’t need help. He wants us to pray because it’s good for us.

So as you go about your days and you plans fail over and over again, just simply praise God that you aren’t in control and He is. Then lift your problems up to Him because He can handle them.

Gospel Sharing Pains

So, I thought I would address this issue as simply as I can.

Perhaps you are like everyone else and find sharing the Gospel with people extremely difficult. You may have been a believer for years and never even really tried, or maybe you’ve tried and had people make you feel like a bad person for doing it.

I can remember being in high school and trying to share the Gospel with a few friends and having them get mad at me and having them tell me not to push my beliefs on people. I stopped talking to them about it immediately but they stopped hanging out with me completely.. I didn’t say anything all that offensive in fact I was trying to be very sensitive to the fact that they didn’t have the same beliefs as me.

After that incident for several years I was afraid to share the gospel with anyone. I felt like a jerk for trying to push my beliefs on them. But then I realized something..

Why should I feel bad for trying to inform someone of the love and grace of Jesus Christ? If I truly believe that Jesus is the WAY and the only WAY, then wouldn’t I not sharing the Gospel just show that I don’t care enough about you to save you from going to Hell?

We shouldn’t hold back the Gospel just because we might offend people.

I would rather offend a million people and save one person from going to Hell than not offend anyone and have everyone go to Hell. I would rather have someone going to Hell thinking “Man, I should have listened to Isaiah” rather than having them be someone I’ve known and having them think “Why didn’t Isaiah just tell me this would happen?”

Christ loved us enough to endure the cross and defeat death. He didn’t do this for us so we could keep his message a secret.

Jesus has a The More The Merrier policy in heaven. So in Matthew 22:37-40, when Jesus tells us that the greatest commandments are Love God and Love People I think he had sharing the Gospel in mind. When you share the Gospel you are showing that you love God enough to let other people know that He exists and that He loves them and He wants them with Him. You are also showing that you love those people enough to let them know that the void they feel in their hearts can be filled with the love of Jesus Christ and that Hell is a very real place but the Good News is they don’t have to go there, there is another way.

All I’m saying is, if you believe in what Jesus did for you and you love someone, then there is no reason good enough to hide the Gospel from them. I’m not saying go out there and tell everyone that they are going to Hell unless they repent, have some tact, but find a way to share the Good News, because you never know when you’ll have another opportunity and you might run out of time.

Don’t go out trying to offend people, but if you love them, you should be willing to risk offending them if it means you could save them from going to Hell.

I pray that this shed some light on the topic of sharing the Gospel with others and I pray you have the courage it takes to do it.

God Is Not Ashamed of Who He Is

I was recently listening to a leader of a college ministry speak and he said something that really caught my attention. He said, "God is not ashamed of who he is." He went on to talk about how God presents himself in Job 38. For those of you who never read Job, in chapter 38 the Lord appears after being virtually silent as Job has all of his possessions destroyed, his whole family killed, and is cursing the day he was born as he is ridiculed by his friends. So, God appears and basically says that He is God and Job isn’t. He talks about how he controls and created the entire Universe, and also mentions the fact that Job can’t even comprehend the things He does.

This got me thinking about my own life, because God isn’t subtle about how great He is and how small Job is in this passage. God tells it like it is.. but how often do I chicken out?

If I truly believe that Jesus is God and is the only way, then why do I try and act “normal” so often? Why do I constantly strive to be accepted and to fit in with this world, when Jesus himself tells us in John 15:18-19 “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to this world it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”

I’m tired of chickening out.

I think there are far too many in-the-closet Christians out there today. If you truly believe, like me, that Jesus Christ is Lord, and that he died on the cross for your sins and then three days later rose again.. I don’t see any reason to hide that from anyone.

We shouldn’t fit in this world because we don’t belong here. We should let everyone who comes into contact with us know exactly what we believe, because if we do truly believe it then what do we have to fear here in this world. I think Paul says it best in Galatians 1:10 “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I still trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

So, all I’m getting at here is, be bold about your faith, because you have nothing to lose. If you truly are a follower of Christ you already have the disapproval of this world. If you aren’t willing to be bold about your faith in Jesus Christ I think you should take a step back and take a good hard look at whether you truly believe in Him or not. I’m sorry to inform you that there is not half way. You either believe or you don’t, and I think living it and believing it go hand in hand because if you believe it then you have absolutely no reason to not live it.

Anyone who disagrees should read the book of James some time.. (assuming you still think the Bible is a legit source to go to)